Nightmares
by PenguinsPenguinsPenguins
Summary: This was originally part of my one shot series. Follows the effects of Kate's shooting and the months after. What will Rick do when he finds out she remembers everything?
1. Chapter 1

This is based on Season 4 episode 9: Killshot.

***Disclaimer*** I wish but no I still don't own Castle.

**Nightmares**

_"Kate!" She heard the gunshot before his screams. The next thing she knew he was hovering over her begging her to stay with him. "Stay with me Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me…okay? Kate…I love you. I love you Kate," he was crying now. She could feel the blood pouring down her chest and her life slowly slipping away as darkness overcame her. _

She sat straight up in bed, startled, still sweating, trying to catch her breath as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest from her latest nightmare. She clutched her chest, feeling her scarred skin from the bullet. "I don't have PTSD, it's just been a long day," she thought. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and pulled up Castle's number, lightly running her fingers across the screen over his name before deciding against calling him. She snapped at him on more than one occasion earlier today, why would he even want to talk to her? The sniper case they were working was getting to her, it was bringing back the memories of her own shooting she was trying so hard to get rid of. Even hearing the word sniper sent her into panic mode, she remembered falling to the ground at the sound of the sirens at the crime scene and running out of the precinct after debriefing earlier that morning. She couldn't breathe, she needed a drink.

She didn't know how long it had been. She just wanted to sleep, uninterrupted by the nightmares, if even for just one night. So she sat in the darkness of her living room drinking, silently hoping and praying that the alcohol would just make the pain stop. Just as she gulped down the last of the liquor from her glass the flashbacks hit again. She heard a gunshot and jumped, causing her to fall into the floor knocking over the table on her way down, shattering the glass across the living room floor. Kate could hear the doctors yelling as they worked, trying to keep her heart beating and the beeping of her heart monitor turn to a flat line. She felt everything, remembered everything. Panic setting in again, she quickly jumped up and closed all the blinds in her living room when she noticed her gun on the ground. Diving for it, she slid across the broken glass from the table and crawled to the corner, breathing deeply grasping her gun for dear life as tears rolled down her cheeks.

As her breathing finally steadied she noticed the blood still trickling down her arm. She stumbled to the bathroom cabinet and proceeded to wrap it as best she could in her drunken state. She walked back to her bedroom and look towards her phone again. Deciding it couldn't hurt she picked it up and dialed Castle's number.

"Hmmm…hello," came his sleepy voice from the other end.

"Hey," she meekly replied.

"Beckett," he suddenly sounded awake, "it's 2am is everything ok?"

"Yes...no, not really. I just needed to talk to you," she slurred.

"I'll be right over."

"No, no that's not necessary. I just needed to hear your voice. I didn't mean to wake you." He could tell she had been crying.

"Kate, I told you I'm here for you, always. I'm coming over," he hung up before she could argue further.

Fifteen minutes later he was pulling up in front of her apartment. After knocking three or four times and waiting he decided to let himself in with the spare key she had given him for, in her words, "emergencies only."

"Kate?" He saw the shattered glass and blood on the floor, his heart dropped. "Kate, where are you?"

He noticed the bathroom light coming from under the door, slowly he walked over and lightly tapped on it. "Kate, are you in here?" What he saw when he opened the door frightened him. Beckett, the usually tough, ass-kicking detective sat against the wall with her knees pulled to her chest, visibly shaken, blood trickling from underneath the bandages on her arms.

He kneeled down next to her and whispered, "Kate" lightly touching her shoulder. She gasped, startled for a moment and jerked away from him. Suddenly she became aware who it was next to her and grabbed him pulling him close, gripping the back of his shirt so hard her knuckles were turning white. Kate's tears began to fall freely again as he rubbed small circles on her back gently, trying his best to calm her down.

He pulled back and stood after a moment, walking towards the countertop where she left the bandages. He came back and kneeled next to her and gently started unwrapping her arm. "What happened?"

"I didn't hurt…it was the table, it was an accident," she stumbled over her words trying her best not to look him directly in the eyes.

After finishing with the bandages he stood again, "I know you would never hurt yourself Kate. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

She shook her head. "Not tonight."

He nodded leaning down and scooping her up gently in his arms. She laid her head over on his shoulder, eyes already drooping closed. He walked her into the adjoining bedroom and lightly laid her on the bed and pulled the blankets up around her snugly. As he turned to walk out she reached for his hand, rubbing her fingers across his knuckles. "Will you stay with me? Please."

He nodded again and turned to retrieve the chair in the corner, but she didn't let go of his hand, gently pulling him towards her. "No, I mean here." She scooted to make room for him under the covers. He stared for a moment contemplating but decided if this was her way of asking for help he wasn't going to turn her down. He would deal with the consequences in the morning. As soon as he laid down next to her she slid back over, snuggling herself as close as possible into his side and laid her hand across his chest. She sighed, "thank you for coming."

"Always. Just try to get some sleep, ok?" He received no reply. She was already fast asleep. The fear of nightmares gone at least for the night. He was here. She was safe.

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So what would you all like to see? Review or PM and let me know! :) Ideas are always welcome.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again everyone. Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed! :)

I will try my best to update my One Shot series tomorrow or Friday.

***Disclaimer* I wish...but sadly no.**

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**Chapter 2 **

Rick woke up a few hours later to Kate unconsciously trying snuggling closer to him. He looked down at the woman sleeping next to him, facial features relaxed, her chest rising and falling steadily; for the first time in days she seemed at peace, almost happy. He really hadn't meant to fall asleep but being this close to her, feeling her heartbeat, and having not slept in days himself it just happened.

_"I should leave," _he thought_ "she was drunk, she doesn't really want me here. Will she be angry at me for not telling her no? Will she be angry if I leave after telling her I would stay?"_ He looked down at her again wanting more than anything to reach out and brush the stray hair from her face, to pull her close and kiss her, to let her know in his own silent way that he loves her and that he's not going anywhere. Instead he gently lifted the hand currently covering his heart and slid from underneath the blankets, careful not to wake her. He pulled the blankets back up around her, fighting the urge to lean down and kiss her. She stirred again and let out a small sigh but thankfully didn't wake up.

He retrieved his jacket from the corner chair where he dropped it when she invited him into her bed. He stopped to take one last glance at the detective he had grown to love so much before leaving her bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Kate shifted, rubbing her hand across the cold sheets on the side of the bed Rick had occupied earlier. _"Had it been a dream?"_ She sat up and glanced down at her arm, feeling the stinging pain starting to return, _"No. Last night was real, he had been here. Where was he? He wouldn't have just left me when I needed him. Who am I kidding? Of course he would have, after the way I treated him." _She wiped the tears from her eyes and got out of bed, grabbing her robe. She started towards the kitchen to make a cup of coffee when she saw him, laying on her couch, his jacket pulled up over his chest and arms like a makeshift blanket. She smiled softly, he was still here.

She walked over and sat down gently on the couch next to him. She contemplated for a moment whether to wake him or not, she could tell by the dark circles under his eyes that he was having just as much trouble sleeping as she was. She reached out and brushed his hair from his forehead before tracing her way down his face with her fingertips. He let out a small sigh, his eyes fluttering open, "Hey. You're awake."

"Yeah," she said pulling her hand away, "thank you for last night."

"Anytime," he smiled, "um, I should get going." He sat up but she didn't move. He stared at her not knowing exactly what to do. Suddenly she pulled him in for a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around him, burying her face in his neck. He froze momentarily but quickly responded pulling her as close as possible to him, inhaling her scent. Any other time he could stay like this forever but right now, they needed to talk. "Kate?"

"Hmm?" She pulled back and stared into his deep blue eyes.

"About last night…" he started but was interrupted by her phone ringing.

She jumped from the couch and grabbed her cell phone, "Beckett. Ok. I'm on my way." She looked towards him, "we have another murder."

"Ok," their talk would have to wait. He stood from the couch taking his jacket with him, "Text me the address and I'll meet you there."

"Sure," she answered walking back towards her bedroom. As he opened the door to leave she called out, "thank you again Rick."

"Always," he smiled and shut the door behind him.

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Soooo...Reviews? Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! :)

***Disclaimer* I do not own of course.**

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**Chapter 3 **

Rick stared at his cell phone silently hoping she would call. She hadn't spoken to him much at the precinct and he hadn't heard from her in the hours since. He started to wonder,_ "Should I call her? Did she regret asking for my help?" _He huffed as he stood from the couch and walked to pour himself a drink. _"No she said she remembered, she wanted me there,"_ his thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing.

He sprinted over to the table and smiled when he saw her picture on the screen of his phone. "Beckett. I was just about to call you."

He started to get worried when all he heard was silence from the other end, "Kate? Are you there?"

"Yeah," she replied meekly, "I just called to see if you were ok."

"Oh," he was slightly disappointed, "I'm fine. Are you ok?"

"No," she said honestly, "I'm not. I feel like I'm falling apart Castle."

He paused briefly waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, he took a shot and asked, "Would you like me to come over?"

He was already scooping up his keys and jacket when he heard her finally answer, "Could you? Please."

"I'm already on my way," he said smiling as he closed the door.

RC_KB

She answered the door with a glass of wine still in her hand. When he entered he saw the empty bottles splayed across the kitchen counter and turned to look at her, "Kate..."

"Don't Castle," tears threatening to spill over, "Please, just don't."

"I'm sorry," he walked towards her and took the glass from her hand, placing it on the counter. "Why don't you go try to get some sleep?"

She grabbed his hand, pulling her towards her bedroom, in her own silent way asking him to join her. He followed silently, dropping his jacket on the chair in the corner. He didn't question when she pulled him down on the bed next to her. Instead, he gently pulled the blankets over them as she curled into him just as she had the night before. He listened to her calm breathing for what seemed like hours before he looked at her sleeping peacefully next to him. He wished he could tell her he loved her and tell her how much he needed her, but it wasn't the right time.

Deciding he should take the couch again, he gently eased himself from her grasp, hearing her whimper at the sudden loss of contact. He grabbed his jacket from the chair he had deposited it on and was about to exit her bedroom when he heard her voice. "Hey," she almost whispered. He stopped in the doorway, "I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

She sat up slowly, "Where are you going?"

"The couch. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I'm only uncomfortable because you left," she held her hands out towards him.

He smiled and walked back to her, depositing his jacket back on the chair. "I'm sorry," he told her as he took a seat on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I should be apologizing to you," she paused and looked down at their intertwined fingers, "I'm sorry I didn't call you. I'm sorry I've put you through all of this…" He gently caressed her knuckles, "Kate…"

"Please let me finish Castle," her tears threatening to spill over. He slowly nodded for her to continue. "I'm so scared Castle. I can't sleep, every loud sound I hear, every time I close my eyes…I'm back in the graveyard, laying on the ground, or in the hospital hearing the doctors yelling. He's still out there, he could be watching me right now," tears were streaming down her face now.

Rick reached out and pulled her to him, rubbing small circles on her back, "Shhh, it's okay. We're going to catch him, I promise. I won't let anything happen to you. I won't let him take you from me."

She quickly pulled back making him fear for a moment that he had said too much. She stared into his deep blue eyes for what seemed like forever before laying back on the bed, pulling him down to lay next to her. She snuggled close to him, placing her hand over his heart, "thank you Castle."

"For what," he whispered, tightening his hold on her.

"For being here."

"Always," he kissed the top of her head and felt her smile against his chest. He closed his eyes letting the sound of her breathing lull him back to sleep. "She was going to be ok," he thought, "they were going to be ok."


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! I should have an update for We'll Meet Again and my One Shot Series tomorrow. Based on some feedback I may also have an epilogue coming for Letters From Home in the next few days also. :)

***Disclaimer* I do not own, I just borrow.**

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**Chapter 4 **

They went on like this for weeks, Kate wouldn't speak to him much at the precinct, unless it was about the case, but then later that night she would call, begging him to come over. Each night he would try to try to leave her once she was asleep but just like every previous night she would ask him to stay and he would. Except tonight. Tonight she hadn't called, it was almost 4am and Rick hadn't heard from her. He stared at the clock, swirling his scotch around in his glass debating whether to call her or not. He sighed deeply, gulped down the last of his drink, and made his way to bed instead.

For the first night in weeks Rick was restless, his dreams haunted by her. Every time he woke up he would reach for her only to be reminded by cold sheets that she wasn't there. He finally gave in to the restlessness and tried to write but the words wouldn't come. All he could think about was her. _Does she not need me anymore? Does she not want me to help? Did I do something wrong? _He decided it would be best not to go into the precinct that day.

By the fourth night with still no word from Kate he broke down, maybe he had too much to drink, maybe not, but he called her nonetheless. He didn't even realize how much he missed her until he heard her voice.

"Beckett."

"Hey," he said simply.

"Oh," she replied, "hey Castle."

Her concern grew the longer he stayed silent on the other end.

After what felt like several minutes he finally responded, "What's going on with you Beckett?

"Umm…I'm not sure what you mean."

He explained, "One minute you open up to me and tell me you need me and the next minute you don't even acknowledge my existence."

"Castle," she tried to interrupt him.

"No Beckett, just don't. You needed me and I was there. Just like I have always been. I waited for you for three months, I hoped and prayed every night that my phone would ring or you would show up at my door. I'm not doing it again. I'm tired of this Kate, I'm just so tired."

"Castle stop. I'm coming over," she said bluntly.

"Don't bother. I know how you feel now," he slurred.

"No. I'm coming over," she hung up before he could argue.

When she arrived she found his door unlocked and let herself in. She found him sitting on the couch, staring into the fireplace. Kate didn't think she had ever seen him look so defeated, so broken. She took a seat on the couch next to him and tried to take his hand but he quickly pulled away.

"What are you doing here Kate?"

"I told you I was coming…"

"You shouldn't have," he interrupted harshly.

"Castle…Rick please look at me."

He finally looked at her. She noticed his puffy eyes and the dark circles under them. _How could I have been so stupid? _She had never considered that he was having just as rough of a time as she was. She brought her hand to his cheek, "I'm so sorry Castle. I should have told you sooner. I just couldn't face it. I didn't want to face it."

He looked up at her, tears in both their eyes, "face what?"

"How I feel about you. I remember Rick, I remember everything. My shooting, you telling me you love me…everything."

He pulled away and stood, "all this time you knew? Every night I held you while you cried…I held you just so you could sleep without any nightmares of that day and you knew how I felt about you? How could you do this to me?"

Kate jumped up to face him, "because I was scared! I love you and it scares the hell out of me. I've never felt this way about anyone before, Rick."

"You should have told me months ago Kate. Even if you didn't want to be with me, you should have told me. I had a right to know!"

She tried to step closer but he backed away, "Castle please, I was in a terrible place. I couldn't handle it."

He interrupted her, "Oh but now you can?"

"Yes Rick. I think I can," her tears were streaming down her face now.

"Well I can't Kate. I'm sorry. You need to go."

She stared at him blankly for a moment.

"Please Kate, just leave me alone," he said calmly before he turned his back on her, walking closer to the fireplace.

She stood silent for another moment before deciding it would be best to leave. She paused long enough as she reached the door to say, "I'm sorry, I never meant for it to end like this. I love you Richard Castle, always."

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Thanks for reading! :) Reviews?


	5. Chapter 5

This may be the longest chapter yet. :) Thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, following...etc. Enjoy!

Follow me on Twitter: AshleyTauscher

***Disclaimer* If I owned this...oh so many things but I don't however Nathan Fillion retweeted me so there's that! :)**

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**Chapter 5 **

Two days. It had only been two days and she felt like she was losing her mind without him. She wanted to call him or to go to the loft and force him to listen to her, but she knew he needed time. _How could I be so stupid? I should have told him that I remembered months ago, that I just needed time to deal with everything that happened. What if he doesn't forgive me? What if I never see him again? _She was about to pick up the phone to call him, against her better judgment, when she heard a knock at the door.

"Castle…" she smiled and jumped from the couch. He was here to forgive her, to give her everything she had wanted for months, to tell her he loved her and that everything was going to be okay. All of those hopes were crushed when she opened the door and came face to face with Esposito

"Hey Beckett," he said softly.

She quickly wiped the stray tears away, "hey Espo. How's it going?"

"I came to ask you the same thing. Can I come in? I brought beer," he held up the six pack hoping to at least get a smile.

"Um yeah. Sure thing," she stepped out of the doorway so he could enter, shutting the door behind him.

"Are you okay Kate? We've worked together for years, more importantly we're friends, you can talk to me. Did you and Castle have a fight or something?"

She laughed, "You could say that. I screwed up Espo, I screwed up so bad."

He handed a beer and patted the couch for her to sit next to him, "what happened?"

She took a swig before beginning, "When I got shot, he told me he loved me. I told him when I woke up in the hospital that I didn't remember anything." She continued telling him about the night she called him, how he came over without question and stayed with her, how he stayed with her every night since.

When she stopped he looked at her slightly confused, "where was the screw up in all of that?"

She dropped her head, "I quit calling him about a week ago. He called me, drunk asking what my problem was and I went to loft. I told him that I remembered everything and that I loved him. He told me to leave him alone." By the time she was finished her tears were flowing freely.

"Oh," he said simply putting his hand on her shoulder, "have you talked to him since?"

"No. I'm afraid if I call him it will just make everything worse. I don't know what to do without him Espo."

He sighed and handed her cell phone to her, "call him. Could it really get worse? If you really love him, if you really want to make it work, call him. Fight for him."

"Thanks," she stared at the phone for a moment.

"I'll go so you can get to it," he smiled, "keep the beer. You owe me though."

She stood and walked him to the door, giving him a hug before he left. She flopped back on the couch and dialed his number but received no answer. She sighed and tried it again, no answer. She tried a third time but this time left a voicemail, "Castle…Rick, I'm sorry. I love you so much, I'm just so sorry it took me so long to tell you. If I could go back and redo the past four months I would. You needed me and I shut you out. Please just call me back. If you don't I'll just come over and sit outside your door until you decide to talk to me. I love you so much, I'll do anything Rick. Just name it and I swear I'll do it."

When she hung up she was crying again. She leaned her head back against the couch deciding to give him 30 minutes before she went over just as she had promised in her voicemail.

*****KBRCKBRC47KBRCKBRC*****

As she walked to the door of the loft she silently prayed he would even come to the door. She yelled, "Castle, Castle please answer the door," through her tears as she knocked. Kate turned to leave in defeat, swearing to herself that she would come back the next day and the next if that's what it took. She heard the loft door open and Alexis say, "Kate, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see your dad. Is he home?"

"No…he went to the Hamptons, said he needed to get away for a while. Did something happen? He's been acting really strange lately…well stranger than usual."

Kate wiped away her stray tears, "I promise I will tell you everything later Alexis. I just really need to find him." Just as Alexis was about to respond, Kate took off down the hall towards the elevator, leaving her at the door more confused than she was when her dad left.

*****KBRCKBRC47KBRCKBRC*****

Kate sat in front of the house just staring at the front door, it had taken almost two hours to drive there and it was almost 1:00 am. _Am I crazy? He told me to leave him alone and now I just show up at his house? No. Now is not the time to second guess yourself Kate. You can do this. _

She approached the door and knocked on it with shaking hands. She rang the bell and knocked a few more times, "please Castle, just answer the door." After what seemed like hours the door opened and she was met by a mussed hair, sleepy eyed Castle.

"Beckett what do you want?"

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Will he cave? What do you think? Cliffhanger!

Reviews? :)


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed! You all are great! :) I promise I will update We'll Meet Again before the end of the weekend! In the meantime check out A Few more minutes that I uploaded earlier. ;)

This is the first thing I've ever written that has passed 5k words!

***Disclaimer* I do not own Castle. Nathan Fillion retweeted me though! :D**

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**Chapter 6 **

She stood in front of him speechless. The whole trip to the Hamptons she had prepared a speech but now that she was standing in front of him, seeing the dark circles under his eyes, the tear stains on his cheeks, smelling the whiskey on his breath, the words just wouldn't come. He looked worse than the night he kicked her out of the loft and it was her fault.

"Beckett. What do you want?" He repeated.

"To talk."

He scoffed, "our time for talking has passed." He tried shutting the door but she slammed her hand against it forcing it to stay open.

"Rick please. Just let me explain!"

"Explain what Kate? Explain that you love me? Or explain how you hid it from me all those months?"

She stared at him blankly. She had never seen this side of him before, this coldness coming from him.

"You wanted to talk Beckett. So talk."

"Can I at least come in?"

He moved out of the doorway allowing her to enter and shut the door behind her. She walked to the living room immediately noticing a picture of them sitting next to a half empty whiskey bottle and glass shattered on the floor around the fireplace. She turned and folded her arms across her chest, "I'm so sorry. I should have realized how hard those three months were on you. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I shouldn't have lied to you," her eyes burned with tears threatening to spill over, tears she swore she wouldn't let him see.

He stared at her coldly, "is that all?"

"No Rick. That's not all, it's not even close," she took a few steps closer to him. "You have always been there for me no matter what. Four years you never left my side even though there was times you should have." She let the tears go that she had been holding back, "I love you," she emphasized every word, "I want you. Just you."

His face softened, he wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go. He wanted to tell her it was okay, that he forgave her but he was still angry. Instead he just stared at her, arms at his side, waiting to see if she had anything else to say.

"Rick please say something," she almost begged.

"I…I don't know what to say."

He was trying to stay strong but the look she was giving him, the sadness in her eyes, and the sincerity of her voice was breaking him down. From the look in her eyes, he could tell she had heard his voice crack with his last statement. She slowly took a few more steps towards him, effectively invading his personal space. He leaned his head down and closed his eyes, trying to stop all of the thoughts swirling in his head.

_She loves me, she's inches from me, all I have to do is reach out and hold her. She's here and she loves me. She smells so good, just like cherries and coffee. I bet she tastes like cherries and coffee too. She's so close, close enough for me to kiss her. I love her…I love her so much. _

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Kate grabbing him and crushing her lips against his. It took him a moment to respond to the kiss, but once he did the rest of the world faded away. The way she was sliding her tongue against his bottom lip begging for entrance and gently tugging his hair was driving him crazy. All he could focus on was the taste of her and how she was lightly moaning into his mouth.

_This was all he had dreamed of for so long, holding her, kissing her, having her tell him she loved him. She wants him. Why did it take her so long to admit it? _

His last thought stopped him, all the memories and hurt from the past few months came flooding back. He grabbed her wrists that were wrapped around the base of his neck and pushed her away. "No…no Kate."

"No? What do you mean?"

He took a few steps back, trying to regain his composure, "I mean no. It's not that easy, it can't be. It's not I'm sorry, let's kiss and make up. I can't take it."

"Can't take what Rick? I'm right here! I love you! Always, remember?"

"Don't Kate. Don't say that to me," he didn't even realize he had started crying.

"Don't say what Rick? Always? Why?"

"Because it doesn't mean anything to you! If it did you would have called. You would have told me you knew everything and you weren't ready. I would have waited for you Kate, I would have waited forever."

"What can I do to make you forgive me? Please, I'll do anything."

"Just leave. Please."

"Rick…"

"Please Kate. You said what you came to say and I listened to every word. Now, I just need time."

She nodded and walked to the door, pausing momentarily before letting herself out without another word. He stared at the door for several minutes, silently wishing he hadn't let her go. As he heard her car pull away he picked up her picture from the coffee table and whispered, "I love you too Kate. Always.

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You didn't think I would let it be that easy did you? :) Reviews!


	7. Chapter 7

I am so sorry it's taken so long to update! Forgive me? Christmas/New Years kept me kind of busy and I was working on a New Year two shot story. I'm back now though! Thank you again for reviewing, following, etc. :)

**A/N: I fixed some typos in Chapter 6 I missed somehow...**

***Disclaimer* Not even a little bit.**

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**Chapter 7 **

By the time she reached the end of the driveway tears were streaming down her face, she was soaked from head to toe and freezing, but she didn't care. All she could think about was how distraught and broken he looked. She had hurt him, and saying she was sorry wasn't going to fix it this time. _What can I do? I should have told him the truth to begin with! How could I do this to him? What if he never forgives me? _

Kate grabbed her phone to call Lanie, sure it was late but she needed her best friend. As she started dialing, she glanced back up at the road just in time to see a small animal dart in front of her car. She jerked the wheel as hard as she could, successfully avoiding the animal, sending her car skidding sideways. She tried her best to readjust by hitting the brakes and pulling the steering wheel the other way, but quickly lost control of the car sending it straight into the ditch.

*KBRCKBRC47KBRCKBRC*

"Damn it!" Castle had never been so furious with her, with himself, with everything. He threw the picture of them, shattering the frame, and grabbed the bottle of whiskey. She hadn't even been gone thirty minutes and he missed her. He was about to pour himself another glass when he heard a knock at the door.

"Kate…What…What happened?" He saw the bruise on her cheek and blood trickling from her forehead.

"I ran my car into a ditch. It's no big deal, just bumped my head but I lost my phone. Can I borrow yours?"

"Yeah…Yeah of course." He wanted to reach out and hold her, pull her in for another mind blowing kiss, make love to her, hold her, and never let her leave.

"How did you get back here?" He looked around outside before he shut the door, "did you walk? It's freezing Kate!"

She ignored his questions, "I just need to call a tow truck and I'll leave." She had her back to him, trying her best to hide the fact that she was still crying.

"You don't have to leave."

"Yes I do. You said you needed time so that's what I'm giving you."

"Kate…" he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her into a bone crushing hug. They stayed there for several minutes just holding each other before he led her to the couch. "I'm going to get a bandage but I'll be right back."

When he returned, he took the same care cleaning and bandaging her head as he had with her arm so many weeks before.

"I am sorry Rick. I never should have lied to you."

"We don't have to do this now."

"No. I do. This is all my fault. I hurt you and I don't know what I can do to fix it. Just tell me what to say or what to do and I'll do it. I swear I will. I just need…"

He crushed his lips to her, shutting her up the only way he could think of in the moment. This kiss was different than their last, shorter, less desperate, but just as intense. When he pulled away she looked at him confused, tears still pooling in her eyes, "When you told me to leave I thought you didn't want…"

He gave her another quick kiss to shut her up again. "I shouldn't have sent you away. I was angry, I still am angry, but after everything we've been through we deserve a chance. All I wanted was for you to fight for us and when you did, I pushed you away."

Kate could see the honesty in his eyes. "I deserved it. There's so many things I would do different if I could. I'm just so sorry."

"Stop apologizing," he said gently, "We'll get past it. Just like everything else, eventually."

She pulled him to her and kissed him, this time he let her slide her tongue into his mouth as he pulled her down on top of him. He pulled back suddenly, startling her, "what's wrong? Too fast?"

"No! No, definitely not! I just remembered that you were soaked."

She gave him another quick kiss and laughed as she climbed off him. Grabbing his hand she pulled him to stand with her. "Why don't we see what you can do about that," she said biting her lip seductively.

He lifted her bridal style, causing her to let out a small shriek, "I would be more than happy to."

* * *

I know it was shorter than the others. Review?


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